Restless Heart

Hey folks!

Time is chugging away quickly here in Colorado Springs - a little too quickly for my taste :).  I am loving it so much (I'm sure that you picked up on that already!) and just savoring the people, the place, and all the amazing experiences that God has so lovingly and gently placed in my lap at just the right time.  His timing is so impeccable - and I'm learning to trust that what he has for me is truly what is best for me.  I'm not sure why that (trusting HIM) has been so hard for me - I guess that whole dumb human desire for control thing!  

Before I proceed into my musings, I want to post some pics of an ahhhh--mazing Valentines dinner that all the FFI boys threw for all of us FFI girls.  They made us feel so cherished - because the whole night was about how God sees us as women.  If any FFI guy reads this, please take this as a sincere thanks.  You have no idea how you touched this heart.  Christ was truly shown in your actions.

Here are the pics!

My table with our two great "waiters" - Jacob and Ben

The guys from my apartment complex (alpha) led us in a beautiful worship song

Cam (the guy with the guitar) wrote a song that some of the guys performed called "Let's Just be Friends" -hehe!

Here the guys are singing "My Girl" to all of us girls :)

Me and my awesome roomie, Sarah.  We have all our adventures together.  She is kind enough to join me on all my spontaneous activities: last minute runs to Starbucks, singing Taylor Swift at the top of our lungs, and sledding, hiking, or biking - whatever we want :)

Callie Grace is a great source of truth, encouragement and wisdom here.  God has used her in my life in countless ways to speak truth and remind me who I am.  Thanks Callie Grace!

Apartment 1021 - we are a pretty tight bunch!  You can tell by the fact that we color coordinate!

I read a quote from Saint Augustine the other day:

"You have made us for Yourself, Oh God, and our hearts are restless until they find 

their rest in You."

My heart breathes a sigh of complete knowing when I read this quote.  This is so where I am!  I was talking to three friends the other day (on the way back from the Pike's Peak Summit - woohoo!) about this very thing.  We were kinda projecting forward and imagining how our lives would go in the next 5-10 years.  My heart gets so excited at the thought of what God has in store - who knows?  But there is one thing I know pretty for sure:

I still have a year and a half left of school.

"But Becky, time flies, girl!  Don't rush things!  Just enjoy the moment - soak it all up.  You'll never have your college years back!"

I wish I felt the same.

When I look ahead at another year and a half of school left at Bryan, the thought really exhausts me.  I think of writing twenty page papers, reading 1,000 page commentaries, and hearing endless perspectives on inspiration, predestination, illumination, or whatever it may be.  I know this sounds so cynical.  God has blessed me so much with the opportunity to get an education, and so many people would love to have this.  It's not the education.  It's me.  I have a restless heart.

When I read this quote, I realized something.  I long for adventure, for experience, for meeting new people and doing new things.  Kind of what I'm doing right now.  But the rest of my life can't entail jetting off to a summer in Slovakia, or spending semesters in Colorado.  At some point, I'm going to need to settle down, stay in one place, and learn to cultivate faithfulness where I am.  This scares me - but I think this comes back to the trust issue again.  Do I trust that God - the source of all love, experience, friendship, everything, is enough to satisfy me wherever I am?  Will I allow this restless heart to rest in him?  

God is so sweet in every way.  He brought me here, which is one of the biggest, most precious gifts I could ever ask for.  I am learning (like I said earlier) that he is so worthy of my full affections, trust, and heart.  I am praying that he takes this restless heart and shows me that it can rest in the huge adventure of knowing Him.