Walking with Hands Held Open

Elisabeth Elliot wrote:

"It was manifest that the anxiety that shadowed too many of my days was that I should miss the path of righteousness. Better that anxiety, perhaps, than a cavalier carelessness, but the years since have proved to me over and over again that the heart set to do the Father's will need never fear defeat. His promises of guidance may be fully counted upon. Does it make sense to believe that the Shepherd would care less about getting his sheep where He wants them to go than they care about getting there?"

Something that I've been intentionally trying to do this past week is to remember to walk with my hands held open - meaning, walking through my days in a posture of surrender. This life is not my own; it was given to me as a gift from my Father. Every good thing he gives me, I want to offer right back up to Him. This story of David is a perfect example of this:

2 Samuel 23

13 During harvest time, three of the thirty chief men came down to David at the cave of Adullam, while a band of Philistines was encamped in the Valley of Rephaim. 14 At that time David was in the stronghold, and the Philistine garrison was at Bethlehem. 15 David longed for water and said, "Oh, that someone would get me a drink of water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem!" 16 So the three mighty men broke through the Philistine lines, drew water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem and carried it back to David. But he refused to drink it; instead, he poured it out before the LORD. 17 "Far be it from me, O LORD, to do this!" he said. "Is it not the blood of men who went at the risk of their lives?" And David would not drink it.
Such were the exploits of the three mighty men.

I always get moved to tears whenever I read this story. David is seen as an enemy in the very place he called home. He probably used to drink water from the well by the gate when he was a young boy growing up in Bethlehem. All he wanted was a small taste of the comforts of home. His mighty men, being the best kinds of friends a man could ask for, risked their lives to get some for him. But David sets an example for all future generations of what it means to walk through life with hands held open - and pours out the water as an offering to God. He gives back the very thing that would provide him with so much joy and comfort, trusting that God would provide for all his needs. How beautiful.

As I walk through this transitional time in life, it is easy, in my desire for stability, to grab a hold of something - anything - and act likes its mine to manipulate, enjoy, and cherish, instead of offering it back up to my Savior. I hope and desire and pray that my heart's posture would mirror that of David, and ultimately, Jesus, who prayed, "not my will, but yours be done."

Changes...

Well...seeing it's been way too long since I've written on my blog, I figure a little update is in order:

I am back at school in Tennessee and the last of the autumn leaves are falling off the branches.  It's such a wonderful time to be here - Bryan is in a valley so on either side the hills are just on fire and it is so beautiful. But as with every season - change must come, and I feel the tug of winter's wind as I walk outside now.  Pretty soon all the leaves will be gone, which will usher in one of my favorite times of the year - Christmas time!  

The semester only has five more weeks left in it and crunch time is upon me (funny how I'm writing in my blog during crunch time...) papers, projects, and final assignments are piling up, but I'm managing to keep my head above water :)

I am looking intensely toward the future right now - I'm graduating in May of 2010!!!  I've been really wrestling with what it means to know the will of God and how to walk in obedience - especially when there are big decisions ahead with no clear direction in sight.

Someone who has been such an encourager and such an amazing blessing in my life during this time is my boyfriend, Jake.  I met him last semester at the Focus on the Family Institute - and can I just say, most amazing young man I've ever met.  His heart is so hard after God, he's such an encourager, and he really pushes me to ask the hard questions as I journey through this transitional year.  I am so thankful for the blessing he is in my life.

Jake and Me :)

I am so thankful that our God is faithful when we are so faithless.  My heart desires intimacy with my King, but so often I fall short of seeking Him with the passion that I desire to.  I want my life to be a continual journey of knowing Him and being transformed into his image.  Life is so good - and such an adventure.