Given More than Beyond Measure

-some of my favorite pictures as of late-

-every morning I wake up and see the rugged beauty of Pike's Peak, the local 14,000 footer-

-these are some of my buds here: Sarah, Jim, and Curtis, they are the bomb-

-Hanging out with Jeremy Camp, his wife (0n his left) and the band at the Focus broadcast studios (I told them I wanted a goofy picture :)

-Jeremy Camp's lovely wife, Adie, in the green shirt.  She used to sing for the Christian rock band, Benjamin Gate -

I'm not gonna lie.  I'm a little overwhelmed right now - on so many levels.  In the last two days, I've gotten to meet James and Shirley Dobson, Christian authors John Trent, Gary Smallie, and Gary Thomas, and music artist Jeremy Camp and his wife Adie.  I'm overwhelmed at the thought that I've gotten to be in the presence of such great Christian leaders, thinkers, and artists.  But more than that, I'm overwhelmed at what God has been doing in my heart.  As I sat in interview after interview today - my Savior seemed to be hitting my heart with meat tenderizer.  I know that sounds terrible, but it's just what I needed.  

I listened to 65 year old Gary Smallie cry out to my generation to let scripture penetrate our hearts and change our lives.  I listened to Dr. Del Tackett plead with our generation to let God's character be the model for our marriages:

"We have to stop looking to other people, like our spouses, to enhance OUR life script.  It's not about us and our script - it's all about experiencing the intimacy that has been being experienced in the Trinity for all eternity - and this cannot be accomplished with the mindset: 'IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!'" - Dr. Del Tackett

I also listened to the heart-breaking tragedy that Jeremy Camp has gone through with losing his first wife and how God has redeemed his life from the pit.  He is married now to Adie and has two beautiful daughters.  

With each subsequent interview and speaker today that I listened too - I kept hearing from my Savior:

"Don't you see, Becky?  Do you hear me now?  I'm not here to harm you - I'm hear to heal you!  Will you let me?  Will you stay in the light and not shrink back and see what wonders I bring to pass in your life? "

My heart literally feels like it is groaning from how it is being stretched.  It sometimes seems to be too much to handle.  But I would be a fool to not listen to the wisdom I heard today, which in a nutshell can be summed up in:

This life is all about Him

We try to make it about so many other things: ourselves, our scripts, gaining God's approval, trying to be a good person, doing the right thing, not getting in too much trouble, having fun, being cool - whatever.  It's all a facade.  The ultimate, most fulfilling goal is him.  Just ask 65 year old best-selling author Gary Smallie.  He'll tell you.  He's tried the good Christian route and it brings him to the broadcast studio and elderly and humble man crying out - "its all about him.  I've tried everything else - and I stand before you today say, it's still all about him."

I know this may not make any sense.  It's ok if it doesn't.  This is kind of just helping me process all that God is doing in my stubborn heart.  Thanks for bearing with me.

The truth is - I've already been given more than beyond measure.  Christ has already paid it all - if only I would just stop striving and let him use me as a vessel.  

I need to stop - I'm so rambling right now.  I just wish all of you could feel what I feel right now - total and utter awe of the worth of Christ and pursuing my life in him.