Where do I start?

Here's a pic with all my good FFI friends.  How I miss them!

Hi Friends!

I have not blogged in a good long while - too long!  I guess so much has been happening in my life and heart that I haven't felt capable of putting it all in written form.  I'm trying to get over the idea that I have to have all my thoughts together before I blog.  It's all a process :)

Well, as you may have guessed, I am back from the Focus on the Family Institute.  What a life-changing experience that was!  I met some of the dearest friends I could ever hope to make and God met me in such a deeply personal way there.  It's like he took all the deep wounds in my heart, had me look at them, then slowly began to heal them in such a kind, gentle way.  I love my Savior - so much.  I always would say to my friends and family when I would talk about Focus, "If God just meets me there and I am able to know him more and love him more deeply, then my time there will be worth it."  And he did that  - and so much more.  I am so thankful.

Now I am dealing with a whole other season that was entirely different than my experience at Focus.  Remember that restless heart that I talked about a long time ago?  It's back!  I'm home with my parents and doing school all day long, every day.  I am so glad that I get to - it's what's making it possible for me to graduate on time.  But I just spent the most amazing semester learning so much about the world and feeling like I was being equipped to go and make a difference, and here I am, at home, in my room.

My question that I bring to the Lord today and every other day, is "Lord - how do I make a difference today?  What does that look like?"  I am desperately trying to figure out how to be a world changer in the mundane things - in every day life.  I can't always be on the front-lines, sometimes I may just be called to prepare for the front lines, or pray for those on the front lines.  I am still trying to figure out what this looks like.

I praise God again and again for what he did in my heart at the Institute.  Now my question is - what now Lord?  And as he seemed to say to me a lot last semester, he seems to be saying to me now - "Stay, Becky.  Just stay."  I get so restless so quickly.  O Lord - this heart will be restless until it finds it's rest in you.

If you read my blog during the semester, thanks for walking a bumpy road with me!  I am now attempting to just be content where I am and see what the Lord is doing.  He is always taking me on some sort of adventure!